On the Air
by only here in your arms
Summary: While running his radio show, the Morty Midnight Show, Eli Goldsworthy has unexpected revelations. It's April 22, but what can happen during his two hour show? Possible two/three shot.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Degrassi or any of the songs mentioned in this.**

Eli pulled up the radio station, just in time for his set of the day. After graduating Degrassi he tried going to college and major in English and study creative writing but with the distractions and habits he gained from his two final years of high school, he wasn't able to focus on his grades. Instead, Bullfrog offered him a job at his radio station and Eli eventually made his way up to getting his own two-hour radio show late at night.

So at midnight he would start his radio show and knew that teenagers going out to parties, people on a roadtrip, or just people who couldn't sleep would listen to his show. He often had callers who were high (on life) after just leaving from a party or they were insomniacs and couldn't sleep. He was one of them. The only reason he agreed to doing a radio show so late was because he had trouble sleeping already and needed something to take his mind away from what he often thought about.

He got settled into his small studio, everyone who had a show had their own in the building, and he put his headphones on. He listened to the song that the pre-recorded show before him was playing and started to organize himself. The list of songs he would play throughout his set was placed on the table beside the main console with the volume knobs and such, connected to the database of songs he had for his show, shown on a small screen. He had a computer also which was supposed to be used for the purpose of the show but he mainly used it to entertain himself during the long periods of the songs.

Eli tapped his hand to the beat of the song currently playing, _Somebody to Love_ by Queen, he was a sucker for classic rock songs. Though this one was a bit more mellow than the usual songs he enjoyed, it was classic. Once the song neared to an end, he pulled the hanging microphone closer to himself.

He pressed a button and he was on air.

"Good evening listeners and welcome to the Morty Midnight Show, I am your host Morty and here is the first song of the night. _Stairway to Heaven_ by a favorite of mine, Led Zeppelin."

He pressed a few more buttons and the song began playing in his speakers. He turned down the volume a little bit and dragged his rolling seat to his computer. On the show website he saw a few callers already dialing into his show and he decided he'd take one after the song was over. It was a long song anyways and sufficed for at least two.

While looking through the list of callers, all screened by a certain place in the building, he got to look at the date. _April 22._

Eli froze. He had been dreading that day all week and he suddenly forgot about it. It was past midnight. It was the 22nd of April.

When he was fifteen this date only meant one thing. Then during his Grade 11 year of high school, the date became known for two. The loss of two loves.

Feeling numb and angry and sad and hopeless after realizing the date, Eli watched as the Zeppelin song came to an end and he was on air again. "For any broken hearts out there and still a little bitter, here's for you." Eli pressed _In The End_ by Linkin Park and turned up the volume in his own speakers.

April 22nd of _that_ year left Eli numb. Not only was it a day of loss already but he lost the first and only girl to make him feel alive once again after coming back from a terrible down. He thought that Julia was his first love but no, it had to be Clare Edwards and he had to drive her away with his problems.

Eli tried telling himself he was better after losing Julia and being with Clare helped him but the problems he gained after losing someone was only masked and only grew until it exploded the night of the dance, leading him to crash his beloved car and losing his first love.

But as the song said, it doesn't even matter.

Eli watched as Clare moved on from him, dated her childhood friend Jake through the end of her high school years, and as far as Eli knew (since Adam had yet to report otherwise), Clare and Jake were still together.

Woop-de-freaking-doo.

Once that song ended, Eli took a deep breath and started speaking into the microphone. "The phone lines are about to combust so I'll be taking some calls every break." He clicked on one caller. "Hello?"

"Hi? Hello?" a high pitched girly voice said followed by a giggle. Then several other giggles.

"You're on with Morty," Eli says.

"Is that your real name?" the girl asked and giggles again.

"Maybe it is," Eli replies in monotone. "What are you doing tonight?"

"My friends and I are just driving home from the city," she says. "We have a song request."

"What is it?"

"Can you play _Steal Your Heart_…by Augustana?"

Eli's heart stops. Why did it have to be this song, on this night? He was going to be haunted by happy memories of his ex on the worst day of his life, just his luck.

"Sure, and you are?" Eli says after clearing his throat.

"Diana."

Eli scrambles to just play the damn song already and once he does and he knows its playing for the listeners, he takes off his headphones and resists the urge to throw them against the wall.

_Steal Your Heart. Diana._ What other things can be thrown into his face today? Wasn't it **just** past midnight? It's only been a few minutes into April 22nd and yet, all of these _coincidences_ were just being thrown into his face left and right.

He throws on another song once it ended, the one that was supposed to follow Stairway, and Eli just sits back on his seat with his arms over his eyes. He needed to pull himself together if he was going to last the hour and forty-five minutes left in his set. But it seemed impossible.

Eli knew he was a mess. After the accident when he was sixteen he would never be the same. After getting involved in some drugs in his final two years and spending a year in rehab after, he still found himself lost and out and completely drained. His face never had color. His eyes were now a pale green and had constant bags underneath. His lips were practically white. His skin was cold.

Eli was barely functioning.

"You're on the air with Morty," Eli says once he chooses another caller. "Any requests?"

"Yes," a deep voice says. He sounds happy. Lucky him. "_Heartbreak Warfare_ by John Mayer."

Oh. Nice. Pick a song to just rub it in, Eli thinks. "Nice choice," Eli replies and it's true. He's a fan of Mayer and did enjoy that song. Just not on this day. "Any reason why?"

"It's my girlfriend's favorite," the guy says. "She's loved this song for years now. She's a big fan of John Mayer."

"Your girlfriend has good taste then," Eli smiles a bit.

"She does," the guy laughs. "I'm…I'm actually proposing to her real soon and I couldn't sleep because I'm nervous."

"That's cool man," Eli tries to reply enthusiastically but this only "twisted the knife again" in his heart, like the John Mayer song said. "What's her name?"

"Clare."

Eli wanted to just throw around everything in the room and demolish everything. Tonight, of all nights?

"So this song…" Eli pulls himself together just enough to talk to his listeners. "Is dedicated to a lucky girl named Clare." His tongue was going to bleed with the amount he was biting on it as he said her name. "From?"

"Oh," the guy laughs. "My name is Jake."

Eli plays the song and shoves the mic away from his face. Taking slow and deep breaths to control himself, his anger got the best of him as he let out a loud, long, enraged scream.

It was these kinds of times that he was thankful that the studio was soundproof.

* * *

><p><strong>May be a two or three shot, don't know yet! But this idea just came to me and it started out being a simple one-shot then it evolved to Eli working as a disc jockey and I had that amazing idea for the ending of this part and I just couldn't stop writing and it was awesome. The next part should be longer than this.<strong>

**Please review if you want to see the next part (or parts). It will only be a two or three shot, I promise. Any song suggestions for the next part?**

**Songs mentioned in this:**

**Stairway to Heaven- Led Zeppelin**

**In The End- Linkin Park**

**Steal Your Heart- Augustana (the relevance will be explained)**

**Heartbreak Warfare- John Mayer**

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any of the songs I mention in this.**

**Hopefully you guys get the connection to the 2 LAST songs of this chapter. :) One is by name, the other by lyrics.**

**THIS WILL BE A THREE SHOT. (If you want it to be)**

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

><p>Jake. Jake Martin. Jake Martin is proposing to Clare. Clare Edwards. <em>My <em>Clare Edwards.

For the next hour and forty-five minutes, that was the only thought running through Eli's mind. He'd play more music rather than speak to the listeners. Plus most of the music were rather depressing or just loud.

_Don't You Remember_ – Adele

_Falling Down_ – Atreyu

_Mr. Brightside_ – The Killers

_Beast and the Harlot_ – Avenged Sevenfold

_Vegas Skies_ – The Cab

_What a Catch, Donnie _– Fall Out Boy

_Diamonds_ – Stef Lang

_Something_ –The Beatles

The list went on. He'd take one call every ten songs, ask for a request, play it, and went back to his depressing music. It was torture, still having to sit at work and not being able to let out his anger. But just ten minutes were left, he could make it.

But it was proving too difficult. He wanted to scream. He had let one out right after Jake's call but he had to contain himself. The anger and hate was just searing out of his skin, he wanted to leave and just demolish something, his emotions were running rampant.

He thought about her. Wondered where she was, what she was doing this very moment. Probably living with Jake, going to school, in love with Jake, maybe working, _in love with Jake_.

Eli hated it. He loved her. He always did.

And he got her. _He_ got her.

Why? Why did she have to fall for _him_? Eli knew she was moving on but…_him_? Her childhood best friend, the cocky one who strut the Degrassi halls like he owned it?

But Eli remembered one day, the last day he and Clare spoke to each other. They had run into each other, got into an argument where his temper was going to flare at any second, but then Jake had run to her rescue. Jake told him to back off, not to hurt Clare and not to talk to her that way, and he had realized that Jake did actually have feelings for her. It wasn't just a little thing like Eli believed. Jake cared for Clare.

And that's why he backed down. Clare was with someone who could protect her, not scare her.

But Eli loved her. He loves her. He always will.

"We're nearing the end of the Morty Midnight Show, call in for any requests or just to chat," he says into the microphone in monotone. He tried to have a lighthearted voice but he just couldn't. He couldn't.

_Proposing._

_Clare. Jake_. _One_.

After another song, this time _Numb_ by Linkin Park for how he felt, he clicks on a random call. "Good evening, you have the pleasure of being the final caller of the night. Any requests?"

"Yes."

_That voice. It's too familiar_.

"Can you play…_Better with You _by—"

"Five Times August," Eli finishes for her, his heart racing. "Nice choice."

"Yeah," she laughs nervously. "It reminds me of someone in my past. A special person in my past."

Eli gulped. _It had to be her._ "Why is this person special?"

"_He_ made me feel comfortable with myself," she answers. "He loved me unconditionally and I love him as well. He's a great person."

"So why's he in your past?" Eli asks with difficulty. He knew this had to be her. It sounded like her too much not to be.

"Because I was young and I made decisions that I know look back on and question."

"What are you questioning now?"

"Who I love, why I love them, what I'm going to do."

Eli opens his mouth to respond but then he heard a large knock on the see-through window and someone pointing to their watch.

"Sorry, have to cut this conversation short, but here's _Better With You_, for this special person in our caller's life. Goodnight everyone."

Eli plays the song but then accidentally ended the call. "NO!"

Eli pounds his fists on the table. He had lost the call. He lost her. He lost her again.

He races to the computer, trying to scan which caller she could be. But he got a lot of callers at night and he couldn't sort through them. "Damn it," he kept saying to himself angrily. "I can't believe I did this."

How could he be so stupid to have let her slip away again? She was **there**. She was talking to him. She admitted that he was special to her past. Wait, did she say loved or loves?

Once Eli's two hours were officially over, he lazily got his studio cleaned up and turned off the equipment. He was moving slowly, he had nothing to go home to, he wasn't going anywhere. This was his life. This was it. He was a shock jock for a late night radio show. He just had the chance to talk to his ex who he was still in love with. But he screwed that up as he hung up on her.

He was nothing.

Before he left the building, he jumped when he felt someone touch his shoulder. He turned around and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that it was one of his father's interns. But Eli wasn't in the mood.

"What?" he practically growls.

The intern held out a piece of paper. "This was the caller."

"What?" Eli asks in amazement. He takes the paper and looks at the numbers. "This was—"

"The girl you were talking to," the intern confirms. "There's a lot of picked callers on _my_ computer since you get all of the calling ins. You seemed pretty upset so I got the number."

"Thanks," Eli says sincerely. "Really. Thank you."

"No problem," the intern shrugs off. "You going to call her?"

_Oh God. What if I call her? What should I say? What am I going to do?_

"I'm guessing that's a no?"

Eli glares at the intern briefly before pocketing the paper. "Thanks again. Have a good night."

He sat in his car, his hands on the steering wheel, but the ignition wasn't on. He couldn't focus. Her number was in his pocket. He had a way to contact her. But would he? He wanted to but what could he say?

_Hi Clare, I'm still in love with you after all these years. Don't accept Jake's marriage proposal that you don't know about yet._

He was torn. He didn't know what to do. He drove away from the radio station and turned on his stereo, playing his own mix CD.

"_It's a beautiful night and I'm opened up..."_

Eli turns it off quickly. _Damnit, I forgot that there were __**those**__ songs on there_.

_You're haunting me Clare Edwards._

_Stop haunting me._


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own any of the music mentioned in this.**

**Thank you for enjoying this 3 shot! Thanks for the reviews! Thanks for so much!**

**Please enjoy the ending to **_**On the Air!**_

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><p>Eli slept in until 3 in the afternoon. When he got home from work, he drank a sleeping pill and was knocked out quickly, not waking up for 12 hours. Once he did wake up, he found himself in an awkward position on his bed, diagonal across it with his legs hanging off the side and his blanket and pillow on the floor. He was never usually a wild sleeper but then he remembered the nightmare he had. Jake called the radio show saying he would be proposing to Clare and Clare called in also, requesting a special song.<p>

Oh wait…

That did happen.

It just kept replaying in Eli's mind, a terrible nightmare on repeat, and he remembered that Clare's number was in possession. He could call her but he still wouldn't know what to say. She was happy now, who was he to just show up and ruin everything?

But _she_ called him. That had to mean something.

"I've been up since 7 this morning so it's not fair that you're just sleeping in."

Adam barged into Eli's room as he was getting up from his bed and Adam crossed his arms over his chest. "Tough night?"

"You have no idea," Eli muttered while rubbing his temples. "Tell me, can I go back in time?"

"If you focus _real_ hard," Adam joked. "What happened?"

Eli clenched his hands together and breathed in deeply. "Clare called the show last night."

"And you didn't wake me up to tell me?"

"Glad that's your first thought Torres," Eli said dryly and just plopped back on his bed. "Jake's proposing too."

He could hear Adam stuttering in confusion and when he turned his head to look at his best friend, Adam was looking around the room as if something was lost. "She-she told you? I can't believe she would do that, she knows that you—"

"No, she didn't tell me," Eli cut off Adam quickly because he seemed like he'd have an aneurism.

"Then how do you know?"

"Because…_he_ called," Eli struggled to say.

"Does he know that you—"

Eli shook his head. "I've never actually said my real name on air so I don't know how he'd know it was me. Plus my voice is different when on the radio."

"So how does Clare know?"

Eli held up his hands. "No idea. Maybe she doesn't. But get this, she asked for me to play _Better with You_. It was her, man. I've never had someone request Five Times August."

"So what happened?"

"You're gonna think that I'm an idiot but I scrambled to play the song since the conversation was getting too long and I hung up on her." The moment he pressed the end call button replayed once again in his mind and the memory was all too vivid now that he was actually awake.

"Stupid move."

"Thanks asshole. I'm aware."

Adam laughed lightly and sighed. "I don't know what to say."

"Me neither," Eli chuckled. "I have her number though."

"Are you going to call?"

Eli brought out the piece of paper and looked at the set of numbers. Here it was, his chance, it was right there in his hands and he couldn't do it. He put it in a drawer and closed his eyes when he closed it. Maybe in the future.

"So that's it?"

Eli nodded and looked at Adam. "That's it."

"Well…do you want to get some food? Maybe afternoon pancakes would take your mind off things."

Eli didn't hesitate to grab his jacket and follow Adam to his car. Whenever either of them had problems, they'd go to their favorite pancake place and stuff themselves until neither of them would want to talk. It worked though because after an hour, they were at home sitting on the couch in silence.

"Will you play some Dead Hand tonight?"

Eli laughed at Adam's random suggestion. "I do. Every night. If you actually listened, you'd know."

"Sue me if I sleep when your show is on," Adam rolled his eyes. "Some people actually sleep at that time."

They sat in silence again and if you walked into their apartment at that time, you'd think they were either drunk or high. They were only stuffed but the way they sat and stared at the ceiling, you'd think a lot differently.

"So you're really not going to call her?"

"What? Do you expect Clare to just change her mind about Jake and come running to me after I call her? I hurt her when we broke up and she went to the guy who made her forget me so she's better off without me. I can pine for her all I want but I'm not good for her, she deserves so much more than me."

"That was the first time you admitted that to me, you know?" Adam was sympathetic. He always listened to Eli pining for Clare but he never admitted how Jake was better for her. Eli was always in denial but now it seemed that he was letting go, finally.

"I know. And it sucks."

"I just realized…it's the 22nd."

"That it is."

"Damn. It is not your day."

"Never is, my friend."

Eli was sitting in his studio, listening to the song playing, _I Write Sins Not Tragedies_ by Panic! at the Disco, and he tapped his fingers on the dash. He was thirty minutes away from the show ending. The rest of April 22nd was tolerable and it was officially April 23rd. When he started his show, he was afraid that the references would keep continuing but the calls he got were simple, no references to his exes at all.

"So…for the hearts that are bitter, enjoy some Taking Back Sunday with _Make Damn Sure_."

"This one is for aching hearts, sorry for the depressing music, but it's life. _Vegas Skies_ by The Cab."

"Promised my best friend I'd play some Dead Hand so just for him, here's _Paisley Jacket._"

"How about some oldies? The Beatles coming up."

"We're nearing the end of the show once again and I'm opening up for some suggestions so call in. Until then, enjoy one of my favorite songs." Eli played _If it Means a Lot to You_ by A Day to Remember and sang along under his breath.

_And hey darling__  
><em>_I hope you're good tonight__  
><em>_And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving__  
><em>_Yeah I want it but no I don't need it__  
><em>_Tell me something sweet to get me by__  
><em>_'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing_

Eli thought about Clare, how this song was the first he listened to after they broke up, and he wished she were good tonight. It was a comforting song to him, even if it had no relevance at all. It made him forget for a minute, the bad things that happened. It was just a good song and he liked getting immersed in lyrics. It was a distraction.

_I swear I'll never be happy again__  
><em>_And don't you dare say we can just be friends__  
><em>_I'm not some boy that you can sway__  
><em>_We knew it'd happen eventually_

His headphones were on so tight and the volume was so loud that he couldn't hear that someone was saying his name. He jumped when someone tapped his shoulder. No one ever came into the studio aside from him.

He jumped up from his chair and turned.

"Hi."

Clare.

What?

Why was she here?

"Hi," Eli replied breathlessly. She looked different. Her hair seemed straighter, her eyes a little darker, but she was still beautiful. She was always beautiful.

"You…hung up on me," Clare smiled a bit.

"I know, I'm sorry," he replied with trouble. He still couldn't believe that after all these years, here was Clare Edwards standing in front of him. _She_ found him, _she_ looked for him. It was surreal. "I-I didn't mean to."

"But you played the song," Clare continued.

"It was requested," Eli shrugged. He was trying to keep his cool but it wasn't working well. He could tell that his hands were shaking at a noticeable rate.

He noticed that the lights were blinking on the motherboard and he played the next song on his playlist. _Hotblack_ by Oceanship.

"I heard Jake, on the show," Clare told him and Eli pressed his lips together. "I was surprised."

"Congratulations…are in order?" Eli breathed heavily. Was she here to tell him that she'd accepted the proposal? To torture him, maybe?

"I listen to your show…every night," she admitted and walked around slowly. "I can't sleep at night and I listen. Then once you're done at 2, I'm asleep. It's been my schedule since I found out you were on the radio."

"Who told you?"

"Adam did."

Eli rolled his eyes. _Of course he did._ "That liar."

"I asked him how you were and he told me, I just…I was going to ask for your number but then he said you ran this show and it was the next best thing to hearing your voice."

"You wanted to—"

"I told Jake no. I'm not marrying him."

_It's a mad, mad world_.

_Na na na na naaa._

"Wha-"

"Just…" Clare stepped closer to him and cupped his cheek. "Be with me right now."

When Clare kissed him softly, he struggled to continue breathing. She pulled away rather quickly, only laying a peck on his lips, but that was good enough for him. Clare was in his arms after all these years and for the first time in a long time, he felt okay.

"But why?" Eli whispered, his arms now holding her tighter.

"Every night…when I listened to you…I was happier to hear your voice than Jake's," she told him. "As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like I'm with you for two hours every night when you're on the air. When Jake called and told you he was proposing, I panicked. He doesn't know that I listen to you every night and I heard him and I thought…I can't, I can't do it."

Eli noticed Clare's struggle to talk about Jake and as much as he wanted to know what happened between them for the past few years, he didn't want to ruin the beautiful moment they were sharing. Clare found him, told him that she wasn't marrying Jake, and it was their first moment together since high school.

Eli noticed that the light was blinking again and he had to play a new song soon. He tilted Clare's head up to him which was resting on his chest and he smiled, "Any requests?"

"What about…_Tonight I Love You_?" Clare suggested, showing her teeth in a big smile.

Eli sat back in his chair and beckoned Clare to sit on his lap, which she did. He went back on the air and said, "Our last song of the night is dedicated to those of you who believe that love comes back when it's truly true. This is _Tonight I Love You_, because tonight, I truly do. Goodnight."

He played the song and rested his chin on Clare's shoulder, holding her lovingly as they listened to the song together.

_Tell me the chance hasn't passed us by,__  
><em>_Cause baby the stars have never shined so bright,__  
><em>_Nothing can stop us out here...__  
><em>

_I'd give you today but it's not mine yet,__  
><em>_I'll ask you to stay with me till then,__  
><em>_I think I'm falling for you (for you) I need you.__  
><em>_I just want to look in your eyes and see,__  
><em>_All that you have looking back at me,__  
><em>_I think Tonight, I Love You (I love you)_

The "On the Air" sign turned off and the Morty Midnight Show was done for the night. It was April 23rd and Eli Goldsworthy had Clare Edwards in his arms. He cupped her face and kissed her again, just to make sure she was real. It was 2 in the morning and his mind wasn't always working well.

But she was real and in his arms.

Eli was never more grateful for his job than this moment._  
><em>


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